Interview and photo spread with ALLIE HAZE and SENSI PEARL

THE COMEDY ICEMAN

Chillin’ with Gilbert Gottfried

Interview by Robert “Corpsy” Rhine

One of the reasons I started Girls and Corpses Magazine was because I firmly believe in free speech and pushing the comedy edge. Offensive comedy is as necessary for society as scotch. It’s a release valve for the great tragedies of our lives. We need to laugh, mostly at ourselves, and particularly during these harrowing days of unemployment, financial disaster and the Kardashians.  There have been all sorts of jokes on taboo and tragic subjects, such as dead baby jokes, amputees, the plague, Helen Keller and George Bush. Without comedy there would be no tragedy, and vice versa. Just ask Gilbert Gottfried.

G&C: Gilbert, you have used the foulest words on the planet, a disgusting, putrid dictionary filled with more dirty words than George Carlin could stomach. What five new swear words would you like to have created and what would their meaning be?

Gilbert:

1) Zingy - Who's covering this check?

2) Zongy - What do you mean split it in half?  You had more than I had.

3) Flingbo - I'm telling you, Miss, this thing is really big.  

4) Flingbee - I swear to you, when it gets hard, it'll be bigger.

5) Flingtap - This has never happened to me before.  It must be because I've been drinking too much, or I'm under a lot of tension from work and a little tired.   

G&C: What is the meaning of life in three words?

Gilbert: Pay in advance.

G&C: What is the meaning of death in three words?

Gilbert: Done and gone.

G&C: What do you think happens to you after you die?

Gilbert: You become a tasty snack for worms.

G&C: What do you wish to have done with your body?

Gilbert: There are a few million things I'd like to have done with my body right now, and I’d pay extra.

G&C: Have you ever died on stage? What is that experience like? And where do comedians go when they die?

Gilbert: When comedians die, they go to the gigs that I work at.  

G&C: Is there a comedy afterlife? What does it look like? And are drinks served?

Gilbert: The drinks are all watered down and you have to pay for them.

G&C: What is the meaning of comedy? And if there was no comedy, what would be in its place?

Gilbert: If there was no comedy, there would be Gilbert Gottfried.

To read the rest of this scintillating interview and see the amazing photos sexy photo spread with Allie Sensi and Gilbert Gottfried, DEAD: Order this issue now here.