| Would it be Paul McCartney who's now singing, "When I'm Eighty-Four"? Or, Ozzie Osbourne, who got lost on the way to our photo shoot and was never seen again. Or, Mick Jagger or band mate Keith Richards, of the Rolling Bones who actually died several years ago but is too preserved by drugs, alcohol and pussy to realize. Little Richard also came to mind as another performer waaaay past his prime yet still performing live... or is he? Robert Plant, Gene Simmons, Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop or David Johansen, of the 70's band New York Dolls, is a cadaver on stage, all victims of father time.
On the female side we were obliged to nominate Cher – now held together by chicken wire, gaffers tape and mortuary putty. Courtney Love was also tested for our cover but puked all over our camera, passed out and was rushed to emergency for a whiskey I.V.
But, in a way, you have to appreciate these moldy superstars, clinging to that last drop of fame. I mean, wouldn't you still be rocking and shaking your bony ass, if you could? Although now when they shake their booty on stage they look like old perverts, skin flapping under the spotlights, staggering through fog effects and fire pots on stage like, "The Night of The Living Dead-head." But that's why we feel we have to honor these great rockers – who will undoubtedly still be singing until the last shovelful of dirt covers their mouth.
It took us months of searching... but we finally dug up the oldest living, still performing, rock legend in the world. He still packs the houses, (even if they are retirement homes) and his groupies still throw their underwear up on stage (actually, support hose and soiled Depends).
You might remember our cover rock God as the bass player for the band, Crypts and Embalming Hoses.
Ladies and gentleman... Girls and Corpses Magazine is proud to present... SLASHED!
That's right... that Slashed.
You can see Slashed in our G&C pictorials both onstage with his band mates and backstage in the RIP room with his groupies Angel Death and Crystal Meth.
We hope you enjoy this issue, rock fans.
As they say... "This Corpse's for you!"
ROT ON!!!
Sickcerely,
R.S. Rhine
Publisher / Deaditor-in-Chief
Girls and Corpses Magazine
www.robertrhine.com
©2006 (reprinted only with permission of author)
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