I sat down at lunch with blond, XXX porn star hottie Hollie Stevens (Space Nuts, Stuntgirl, Barely Legal on Vacation 2), and tried not to get thrown out of the restaurant as I asked her what the world is dying to know...

G&C: When did you first get involved in Clown Porn?

HS: It would have to be about two years ago, actually. I got an email from producers in San Diego, saying: "this sounds a little bizarre... this is a comedy (keep in mind) but it would involve you being a clown or having sex with clowns? Would you be interested?"

G&C: What was your first reaction?

HS: (laughs) Well, I like to do different things, I guess... and it was something I've never done before, so I was willing to give it a shot.

G&C: Is "Clown Porn" more Marx Brothers or more Fashionistas?

HS: Its more like Kentucky Fried Movie but porno style and everyone happens to be clowns instead. It got some bad reviews but it was before people actually watched the movie. They thought I don't want clowns with porn. I don't want to see this trash. But once they actually watched it they thought- hey this is hysterical.

G&C: So, is it supposed to be more a turn-on or just funny?

HS: A little bit of both. It will make you laugh possibly and have to masturbate and cry, a lot, afterwards (laughs).

G&C: So, how many orgasms did you wind up having?

HS: Uh, about three or four.

G&C: I thought it was like dozens?

HS: No, not that many, but...no (laughs)

G&C: So, getting back to Clown Porn, describe what you do in Clown Porn. Do we see you dressing up and getting prepared as a clown?

HS: Well you don't see me getting dressed up for it which was the really hard part in the beginning of us trying to put ourselves in our own clown make-up before we decided to get a make-up artist. But, it's parts of me, like doing my terrible acting.

G&C: Terrible acting... in porn?!

HS: (laughs) Then, you see me as a clown having sex with five other clowns. It's kind of weird. It's really bizarre doing a scene with guys dressed up as clowns.

G&C: Really, why? You find it weird banging five guys you just met in the parking lot dressed as clowns? So, were you turned on by it? The clown part?

HS: No (laughs) I mean, I couldn't stop laughing, really, because you kind of get in this zoned out stage but then again you back to thinking: it's just a clown (laughs).

G&C: Weren't you freaked out?

HS: I was never afraid of clowns or anything. There was no like special thing with clowns. They were just at my birthday party every year

G&C: I asked Belladonna this too, but do you ever socialize on the outside of work, with other porn stars? Go bowling or play badminton, or anything?

HS: I really don't. I mean, it's strange, like my friends and everybody in the industry, I only have like maybe only a handful of friends. The rest of my friends are all comedians, that I hang out with.

G&C: But usually co-workers get together at the office and they have office parties and and barbeques. Why don't porn people get together and have a party and play naked Yatzee?

HS: Well, the Christmas Party is always interesting, the whole gang going to the bar and eventually somebody is going to get on the bar and get naked and you know all chaos will happen eventually.

G&C: So, what do you do... screw under the mistletoe?

HS: Sometimes yeah. It's either a mix of that or somebody in the toilet or maybe both at the same time, I don't know.

G&C: Are there any adult stars that you really-really want to work with? You know, like Belladonna, who I'm trying top hook you up with?

HS: There's really no one specific, you know. It's like there's people that you see and you just look at and think: wow she's pretty hot. But for me it's somebody that I really know I'm going to get along with before hand. There's several girls here that are prima donnas, yeah they ARE hot and I guess they have a reason to be that way but their attitude is a complete turn-off. So, as working with anyone, it would just have to be someone who's very cool.

G&C: Do you ever bump into porn co-workers at the supermarket, in the canned goods aisle?

HS: Yeah, but I'm really bad with names and I won't remember their name even after the scene and then I'll see them, maybe at the supermarket or a party, and it's like, "Hey, you... how's it going?" It's a little awkward.

G&C: Tell us about the next Clown Porn movie you have coming out. How does the second one differ from Clown Porn #1. Just please don't tell me that Clown Porn #2 is about...

HS: Noooo, (laughs). Basically, for the sequel, the training wheels have now been taken off for this second movie.

G&C: Wow, what could be crazier than clowns (except maybe corpses and clowns?)

HS: Well the first the first one we were really experimenting with a lot of things. We really didn't know what was going on. This next one is on another level. It's a lot funnier. It's called Clown Porn Crime Watch.

G&C: Crime Watch?

HS: Yeah, so it's like the Clown Porn version but everyone's a cop. So it's cop security as clowns.

G&C: Is there a storyline, or do people just walk in and clowns start boffing?

HS: There's kind of a story line. It's like watching the cop shows. There's a redneck clown, you know, the drug busts...it should be very entertaining.

G&C: So you are still throwing pies at each other?

HS: Naturally.

G&C: Is there more clown-girl on clown-girl again?

HS: Yeah and by the end of the scenes my face is usually turned purple (laughs).

G&C: And are you planning a third in the clown trilogy?

HS: The third one is going to be a western.

G&C: Nice. What would you like to see on Clown Porn that they haven't done yet? What scene haven't you done?

HS: Well, they haven't really done a full on carnival thing yet. They haven't added the whole cotton candy concession man or anything.

G&C: Are there any scenes that you remember, that were particularly difficult that you worked on in porn, or were memorable for either being funny, bad or strange experiences?

HS: The funniest one? It's kind of weird. I was doing a scene I was doing and I was with this actor Randy Speers. We were doing doggy style and he's going "oh oh I'm gonna cum" and right when he screamed that, he rips one and everyone in the room just lost it. I fell on the ground laughing. He was trying to apologize to me, but I was laughing way too hard.

G&C: Farting is one of the great comic staples. It's the only gag that hits all of your senses at once.

HS: Yeah, right (laughs)

G&C: Who is the director and creator of Clown Porn? Scorsese? Speilberg? Bergman?

HS: His name is Chris Spoto and he is a very funny man.

G&C: Are you the primary lead female in Clown Porn or are there other female clowns?

HS: I'm pretty much the lead. It's me and then Zenova Braeden. I do most of the sex scnens with the guys too. I guess I'm the one who can tolerate having sex with clowns and it's o.k.

G&C: What was the first porn scene you ever did?

HS: I did like a solo thing first off, but it was really lame. My very first scene ever was with this girl Bridgette Kirkoff and a guy Julian, this is another funny story. Bridget is like an Anal Queen, right? That means she can take very large objects up her butt.

G&C: I'm listening...

HS: Well, somehow she can put a hundred chopsticks up her butt. That was like her big thing and she was known for that, I guess.

G&C: After thirty minutes,did she still want more chopsticks up her ass?

HS: Yeah (laughs). Anyhow, Julian, was very 'large,' and he's giving it to her up her ass and all you can do is just sit there and stare in shock and disbelief because I'd never seen anything like that up close and personal and the director was yelling at me, like, "Holly get yer ass over there and do something!" and I'm like, "I don't think there is anything I can do to top this!"

G&C: So, you were just an observer?

HS: I was... in shock.

G&C: Was it terrifying? Like your first time seeing Shamu at Seaworld?

HS: It was like Ripley's Believe it or Not.

G&C: Then what happened?

HS: Well, it was like a whole three-way thing but then it ended with her getting it up the butt.

G&C: You'd been with women off-screen. This wasn't your first on camera lesbian scene?

HS: Oh, no-no.

G&C: Do you prefer women, personally?

HS: It kind of depends on my mood and the person. I've never actually 'dated' a chick. The girls that I fool around with are just friends. It seems like when I tried to have a relationship with a girl, there was even more drama because you not only have to worry about her looking at other girls -- but other guys too. So, eventually, chicks get really jealous. I don't want to deal with that.

G&C: What's something sexually that a regular guy shouldn't do, that are just for porn, and shouldn't be attempted in the real world?

HS: Well, there's the 'reverse cow girl' and if I need to explain in porn terms, it's basically when the chick's on top of you and you flip her around and she's staring at your feet.

G&C: You mean a 69?

HS: No, you know, a girl is normally on top facing you and you turn her around and instead of facing you, she's facing your feet.

G&C: Oh, you mean sitting on top of you -- and facing the guys feet -- squatting.

HS: Yeah, ok, what girl would want to do that? Ok, she's thinking to herself, 'obviously he doesn't like the front side of me or something.'

G&C: But isn't doggie-style bring up the same issue?

HS: No. No. Since you're on top it's harder on the girls legs too, cause they kind of have to sit up -- like a frog almost, on top. I'm sure a lot of girls get very self conscious about that. It's just so the camera can see everything. And guys just don't get that. They see it on a porn site and they think, 'hoo-ahh,' that's a cool sex position -- and it's not for the girl.

G&C: And, of course in porn, there's the obligatory jism shot to the face.

HS: For me, personally, I'd rather not get it like that. Especially, if it gets in your hair. I have really long thick hair and it's such a pain to wash it and then to blow dry it.

G&C: And we've all seen, "Something about Mary".

HS: Yeah, except she had short hair, so it wouldn't have been as big a deal to wash.

G&C: Don't porn guys now take some sort of stuff to make them have more cum?

HS: There's all these things that guys do to try to make it thicker- more of it- or taste better

G&C: Is it true that also porn guys don't have sex for a few days beforehand?

HS: Oh, some do, some don't. Guys are all different. I've heard different ways to do stuff -- like eat fruit, ahh I don't know if it works or not, I'm not a guy, so I've never tried those things.

G&C: Are you one of those 'special girls' that can ejaculate?

HS: I have before, except mine doesn't shoot straight out, it just kind of dribbles.

G&C: There are some that are known for squirting it out -- like ten feet.

HS: It's very real. I've seen it.

G&C: Is it hard to date a regular dude when they're going to try and compete sexually with some porn star? Do you ever date porn stars?

HS: Well, I've tried to date porn guys before and they're really, well the guys that I dated were really LAME!

G&C: Like dumb blonds chicks? No offense.

HS: Yeah! Like total-dumb-blonds and everything, Actually, I've been able to date guys who have no problem with what I do.

G&C: So, that was the only time where you felt like it was going too far?

HS: There was that and there was another tie...

G&C: What's a "tie"?

HS: There's different ties that they do in bondage. This one was a hard tie, but instead of my head being able to lay down, my arms and everything are back and up, and my head was pulled back. I had a real big piece of my hair pulling my head back and it was at the point where I couldn't breathe because I couldn't put my head down or it was going to like totally rip my hair out. That was the point where I had to tell them to stop. And it's funny because they have photos of me with a nervous laugh on my face through the entire thing.

G&C: Did you train to do this? Is there a College of Bondage, or did you take a correspondence course?

HS: No. I pretty much subbed a lot and if you are a good sub you can become a good domme because you kind of learn just by subbing. It's kind of how I got into it.

G&C: What's the strangest, sickest thing you've seen as a domme?

HS: I have friends that are doms who are completely psychotic, that's why they're my friends, I guess, but they have told me some disturbing stories.

G&C: Oh pray tell..

HS: Like projectile vomiting and roman showers.

G&C: Waiter, check!

HS: Yeah, I was informed about this recently. My friend was like, "oh I did a Roman Shower today. They're not legal here but nobody really knows." I'm like... ummm... o.k.

G&C: I think that I would throw up watching a Roman Shower.

HS: I would too. Just hearing about it I was like what, why?

G&C: Did she really toss her cookies on him?!

HS: Yeah, she threw up on him because she was 'domme-ing' so like, it's like really gross.

G&C: I'm amazed they can do that on cue. Do they have something that makes them puke? Like making them watch

HS: I don't know. I didn't really ask her. I think she can, because there's people that can just do it with their stomach muscles I think and I think she can do that.

G&C: That's a good thing to have on your resume. Do you think there's a film in the future called Roman Clown Shower?

HS: (laughs) Probably not.

G&C: Clowns puking banana pie on each other?

HS: I really don't think it would sell.

G&C: Oh... you wait!