GIRLS AND CORPSES INTERVIEWS
DAVE MEROS OF SPOCK'S BEARD

Reviewed for Girls and Corpses by Robert Rhine

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G&C: Welcome to Girls and Corpses, Dave!

DM: Glad to be here!

G&C: You have been a musician and bass player for like a hundred years. Did you OD on Viagra?

DM: Let's just say it was "Viagra-related"...

DM: I did study music as a child, classical piano for a number of years, then onto various brass instruments, but I've managed to throw away all of that accumulated knowledge somehow, and I'm proud of it!

I actually didn't start playing bass until I was 20, and only because my friend had a band that needed a bass player. As soon as I picked it up I realized that was my natural instrument, and I was playing gigs three weeks later. Life is a funny thing. I'm finding that death is much funnier, however. And I mean that in a good way.

G&C: Who do you look up to musically?

DM: Too many to really give a good answer. But to give you a very schizophrenic sample, The Beatles, Miles Davis, Black Sabbath, Yes, Tool, Jellyfish, Tom Jones, Bach, Frank Zappa, Led Zeppelin . .. I could go on indefinitely.

G&C: Please don't. Would you play with Clay Aiken for a million dollars?

DM: Yes

G&C: How about fifty bucks and a slurpie? (By slurpie I mean the drink, though Clay might go for the other).

DM: Doesn't matter, for fifty bucks it's a no either way. For the million bucks, though, I might re-think my aversion to the slurpie part if that was part of the deal. Let's face it, a million bucks is a million bucks.

G&C: Who's your favorite corpse band?

DM: Cannibal Corpse, Rotting Christ, I like 'em all. Especially the ones with a dude that sings like Cookie Monster.

G&C: And speaking of corpse bands... didn't you play with Eric Burdon and tour with him for fifteen years?

DM: Ha!!! That's funny! But yes, it's true.

G&C: He was superstar of the 60's -- but his groupies must keep use walkers to get to the stage.

DM: You're closer to the truth than you know. It started getting very depressing, actually. I mean, we all know that being dead and in any state of decomposition is way cool. .. that goes without saying. . . but that period of time before death, when people are kind of close but still hanging in there is a pretty weird scene, especially when they're re-living their youth and trying to rock out.

G&C: When you played with him were women throwing their dentures onto the stage?

DM: Not on purpose.

G&C: Would you ever put them in your mouth during the show to see if they fit?

DM: No, I'd put them down my pants, rub them around a little, then hand them back with a really sick smile on my face.

G&C: With all those years of touring you must have some sick stories. What are some of your strangest experiences on the road? And what are some of your best (worst) groupie horror stories?

DM: It would have to be the one with the dogs, hollowed out grapefruit, Vaseline and balloons. But this is a family oriented magazine, so I won't go into details. My life is all one big long sick story, really. Kind of a permanent enactment of The Aristocrats as written and directed by David Lynch. But that's the way I choose to live!

G&C: We're family oriented? You must have a verrry strange family. You also played with Iron Butterfly. Wait... are you really a corpse?

DM: Uh. .. let me check. . . yep, still totally corpseified. There were fewer corpses in the audience at the Iron Butterfly show than at Eric Burdon shows, though. That show was actually just a one-off for me. The original bass player, Lee Dorman, was ill, so I filled in for him. He's doing much better now. It was really a fun gig, and a nice bunch of guys.

G&C: Where are your touring next?

DM: Spock's Beard has a mini-tour in May that I'm really looking forward to. We have 9 dates here in the U.S., spanning the country. Visit www.spocksbeard.com to see the tour schedule.

G&C: You have a killer collection of skull and bone artifacts. What got you interested in collecting the dead?

DM: I've been interested in skulls and skeletons as long as I can remember. I don't know why, I have always just thought they were extremely cool. When I was a kid I wanted to be an archeologist or paleontologist so I could dig them up and be around them. Halloween is by far my favorite holiday because that's the only holiday that glorifies skulls, skeletons, corpses, and all that other cool stuff.

G&C: Where do you find these treasures?

DM: For the last few years I've been interested mainly in skull and skeleton artwork, primarily a lot of the Dia De Los Muertos stuff. I like the more primitive style of it. So a lot of it comes from Mexico. Mexico rules in every way. You can also find something that's really cool occasionally at biker rallies, but a lot of that stuff is pretty cheesy.

G&C: Are these actually the bones of groupies? Our readers want to know.

DM: There are still open case files on some of the groupies, so I won't comment.

G&C: What do you think of our corpses?

DM: Your corpses are the hottest I've ever seen. Seriously.

G&C: I'll be sure to tell our corpse digger Kevin Klemm. He has a very descrimiating eye and a strong nose. We also have a photographer who is an expert at making the dead look fresh and youthful, Lon Casler Bixby. If you could serenade a corpse, what would you play and why?

DM: Probably something by Marvin Gaye or Al Green. Their ability to get guys laid with their music transcends even death.

G&C: What do you want on your Tombstone?

DM: "Ahhhh... finally"

G&C: Thank you for not saying, "pepperoni."