No shit this really is TRUE!

Interview by Corpsy

©Girls and Corpses Magazine  All rights reserved!

CMZ LA Bureau/ Exclusive for Girls and Corpses Magazine

G&C:  So, Count Smokula, you actually worked with the Balloon Boy's nutcase father Richard Heene for several years. Tell us how you met him? Was it on a spaceship? Are you also from outer space?

CS: It vas kind of like a spaceship, but it vas more like a room, an office! Ve shared office space. 7 years! I only visited outer space as a kid in summer camp in Smokesylvania. It vas kind of like trees, And you know, they can turn those trees into office space. Kvite often they do. Heene might have fallen out of a tree
G&C:  What was the project you were working on with him?  And is it true you were also building and arc together?

CS: We voiked on Boxtime Playhouse. It's About Time, some puppet shows, cd business card promotions and his reality show pilots.

G&C:  Wow, Boxtime Playhouse, That's quite a name considering the box Heene is in now and the prison cell he will be in soon.  Also, didn't Bubble Boy hide in a box in the attic, orso Heene said.  Did Richard Heene ever mention that he had been anally probed on a spacecraft? How about on earth?

CS: He never mentioned anything about the anal probing. But sometimes I saw on his face that it might have heppened. Can't say for sure, but he's an adventurous fellow.

G&C:  Was there anything unusual about Richard when you working with him?  Did he ever talk to an invisible friend? Did he think he was invisible?

CS: Everything vas unusual about Richard, although he alvays had a nice haircut. I think ve vere all invisible friends. He thought more that he vas indivisible.

G&C:  Did you ever meet his wife Soon Yi, I mean Mayumi.

CS: Of course! Mayumi is nice!

G&C:  When you saw the spaceship flying for the first time on the news did you think, there he goes again? What went through your head?

CS: Mostly currents of air vent through my head and I thought, if anyvun vould build a flying saucer, it hed to be Richard!

G&C:  TMZ has asked you about this strange relationship. But what did you not tell them that our readers would like to know?

CS: I told no deep hidden secrets! I let them hear the might sounds of Smokey Miles music in the great Heene theme songs "Science Detective" and "The Contractor". The put them up on their vebbed site at TMZ.com. Thgen everyvun else in the voild played "Science Detective" (or "Psyience Detective" as they like to spell it.) It got played on Anderson Cooper's show on CNN, TMZ, Howard Stern, Keith Olbermann, The Today Show, a bunch of times on KFI and maybe all through the univoise. I vas heppy. It's a catchy song!

G&C:  Did he ever touch your privates? Show us on the doll where he touched you.

CS:  He never touched my privates. Sometimes my publics. I vouldn't ectually say anyvhere physical.

G&C: You have worked with a lot of nutty people in Hollywood. Where does Richard Heene score?

CS: On the Nutchter Scale about 95%. Vell maybe 90% But he had some good ideas!

G&C:  Do you think Heene and his wife's TV reality show will be from prison?

CS: I don't know vhere. It could be anyvhere there are cameras!

G&C: Did you meet Falcon and did he throw up when he met you, as I did?

CS: I met Falcon vhen he vas about a day old or something like that. He didn't throw up vhen he met me, no! Ve vhere friends. You just threw up because I gave you a vienerschnitzel from the last century.

G&C: Do you think tinfoil sales will go up as a result of this story?  And what do you think Heene meant when he said his "spaceship" ran on one million volts? Do you think he meant one volt, since there was no electricity found inside the craft? If you rub a balloon really fast you can generate on volt of electricity -- and not how Heene's hair stands up.

CS: Tinfoil sales vill go up! UFO sales vill go up! Hair vill stand! Everyvun vill continue on! THe voild vill keep spinning! Cod Bless Amerika!

G&C: What projects do you have coming up Count Smokula?  Also aren't you in the new issue of Girls and Corpses Magazine?

CS:  Vell yes and no! I star in the up and coming move Bris 2 written, directed and produced by Corpsy. A nephew closely resembling The Count is Rabbi Mohel Vampire in the poster vhich is in the issue. It's a good job. He gets about 500 skins a veek, good tips, gets ahead. Count Smokula vill also release this veek the new album "Smokesylvania in My Mind" on itunes and places like that. Get ready for Halloveen, kids, it's coming! Trix or treats forever!

G&C:  Thank you Count Smokula for enlightened us on Richard Heene. I hope you sell your rights for ten million!  And in Transylvanian money that's about 20 bucks.