SEX IN THE CEMETERY
Doing it Deady Style
With Dr. Necco Feelya M.D., DDS, OBGYN
Ask and ye shall receive! Thank you for the overflow of cemetery sex stories from all you graveyard horndogs knocking over tombstones as you bang like dead bunnies. And boy did you corpses ever spill the maggots. You made Dr. Necco-Feelya stiff. So, thanks to all you ‘headstone bangers’ for sharing the dirty deeds you did on granddaddy's grave!
RIP, Dr. Necco Feelya
Dear Dr. Necco
“I lost my virginity in a cemetery. It felt like some terrible B-movie from the '50's. We'd just finished watching some shitty horror movie involving snakes and flowers and hack rappers-turned-actors when I get the idea of sneaking into the cemetery. She was incredibly turned on by this. Whatever turned her on turned me on, far as I cared then. Until that night, the most I'd ever done was fondle a girl's ass and kiss her. We snuck in on the top of a hill, and strolled down to the side of the lake. The path seemed rather worn down. In all my life, I've never seen a lake in another cemetery. We made our way down the main path, past the hearse garage, and went off to some of the local clan-graves. Opening the gate to the Spencer's Plot, we saw a large slab that couldn't have been more than a week or so old. Behind one of the headstones was stashed an ashtray and a few empty bottles of whiskey. I did what most young, in-experienced men would do, and sit down and try and cuddle. She sat beside me, wrapped her arms around me, and whispered the best idea I've ever heard. A zip and a flip later...
Continued in the print issue... and boy does it get dirty! Imean... it is in a cemetery.
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