So, I’ve been putting off watching this movie for awhile.  Not because I’m grossed out by trannies or anything.  Because I knew how boring it would be to sit through 5 scenes of ass fucking.  It gets old after a while.  Especially, when I’ve seen it on set a million times.  I don’t care if it’s a guy a girl or whatever.  It’s still a cock going in an ass and it gets boring.  Unless, they’re crying or bleeding.  All of this said… here’s my review.

I would like to start with the cover. The tranny on the cover has long blonde hair and looks like Dudley Doright. She has an expression on her face like she just took a huge hit off a crack pipe while she was taking a dump.  She’s wearing these terrible dangling bowtie earrings that might have been purchased from Claire’s Boutique in the 80’s.  The background looks like something out of Saved By the Bell. I’m just as confused about the cover as the performers are about their gender.

The first scene involves the cover girl (Thays) and some guy with a boy short tan line. This scene was the worst in the film.  The tranny couldn’t suck dick to save her life and it had to be the longest b/j scene I’ve ever witnessed.  The guy barked like a sea lion, the editing was horrible, and the director (who was obviously foreign) kept talking over everything.  Whenever he’d ask the tranny to do something he’d start with saying “baby”. The movie was shot in HD.  Some things don’t need to be shot in HD people!  Especially in porn.  Picture a close up detailed view of the speed bumps on this girl’s ass. 

The second scene was much better.  This tranny (Anita) actually looked feminine.  The premise was pretty weak.  I guess she walked into what was supposed to be an auto body shop. I don’t really understand what the exchange was but she immediately began to blow the “mechanic” that she approached.  I learned from this scene that the guys in this movie have to pretend that they don’t know that these women are really trannies. So, when it’s time for the tranny to take off her drawers, the guy has to act shocked and then act like it’s cool and start banging her or blowing her.  I realize that this is only a movie, but come on!  If you were a guy who was approached by a woman and some guy with a camera, then they spring on you that the woman who was blowing you wasn’t really a woman, wouldn’t you want to kill them?  Not give some horrible “oh I’m so shocked but I might as well suck your dick” sort of reaction.  The mechanic in this scene was a total butt slut.  I found this somewhat entertaining.

The third scene made me want to puke.  Whoever said that all Brazilian trannies are beautiful hasn’t seen this movie.  Hilda was her name.  If I were her, I would have been pissed at my surgeon.  She looked like she had the misfortune to survive an abortion.  I couldn’t watch this scene for very long.  My stomach was seriously bothering me so I had to switch it to the next scene.

The first shot is of the fourth scene was of this tranny (who looks kind of attractive) and some guy making out.  Everything was fine until the camera got a close up of her mouth as she began to blow the guy.  She had an enormous mole next to her mouth (Again, HD!).  It had to been the size of a dime.  I don’t remember the rest of the scene. The mole was too disgusting.

The fifth and final scene.  Holy shit!  This bitch (Taina) is hot!  This has to be the hottest tranny I’ve ever seen.  I couldn’t’ understand a word that she and the guy were saying because they were speaking Portuguese, but I was fine with that.  I would totally fuck this chick. That was pretty much all I was thinking through the entire scene. I would get out the strap on and fuck the living shit out of this girl.  I have no idea what Pink Visual was thinking not putting this girl on the cover.  This scene saved the rest of the movie.

The one thing that bothered me through every scene was the b/j’s.  Every girl had to put her hand around the guys cock and it would freak me out. It really emphasized how large their hands were every time they’d wrap it around the guy’s penis.  Their hands were so big and veiny that and it made the guys’ cocks look a lot smaller.

This has been Hollie Stevens with your Tranny Report.

2 out of 5 skull suckers