About Us

Back Issues




Advertising Info


website by Gone West

photo © Lon Casler Bixby 

Eulogy for Howard Stern

You might think that we are burying Howard Stern and his crew in this issue of Girls and Corpses Magazine. But you would be sadly mistaken. We corpses love you Howard and you are far from dead in broadcasting. Many have tried to kill you off but you just won't die. Frankly, we feel this is because you may already be deceased. And we can prove it. The pale green skin, those sunken eyes beneath the groovy 1900's glasses. The stench of decay and the fact that we recently discovered that you started in radio in 1901 in New York as a disc jockey named Horace the Butcher. Yes Howard, we have unearthed a document proving that when Guglielmo Marconi made his historic broadcast in 1901, that you were at the microphone and your voice was carried by the very first radio signal.

issue #8
So, it is our dream, Howard, that we bring our corpses and hot girls (who like to pose with cold corpses) to New York to appear on your program. You've had it all on your show. But you are snubbing necrophilia! Wouldn't you like to see a corpse on your sybian love machine and watch its' bones rattle? Those machines can even wake the dead.

You have never shied away from anything, Howard. But do we scare you? You wouldn't be the first. Or, last.

KROQ Radio had scheduled an interview with us and then chickened out at the last minute when we told them that our corpses were real. Yes, Howard... real. They are plasticized in the same process used for the Body Worlds Exhibit. Our corpses are acquired by our sister company, the Ed Gein Collection, from medical labs in South America, where they are shipped to us in dry ice and then preserved in a patented chemical process we liken to "barbecuing." The bodies are basted with embalming fluid, then slowly smoked over fomaldehyde fumes and cherry wood. Actually, the flesh has a slightly tangy, nutty taste. We would be happy to bring some human flesh for you and your crew to taste on your show.

You can listen to me on radio explaining about our company on WMMS Radio in Cleveland (The Big Dumb Fn Show) who bravely put me on their radio show. Listen here

I would like to close this eulogy by saying that we know that Howard Stern will be doing his show until his bones turn to dust. Then, he will continue his show in the afterlife, with his producer, Baba Satan, by his side. Robbin' Grave Quivers, will be with him in hell, after she hung herself when she learned that her boss was dead and she would be out of work unless she followed him.

Howard please permit us to photograph your corpse with beautiful young models. We will bring you a release to sign.

You will be The King Of All Media -- even in death.

We will miss you Howard... the farting, the puking, the boob jobs, the dumb blonds, spanking, orgasms, dwarf tossing, penis measuring and porn stars.

RIP Howard.

May you rest in poon.

Robert Steven Rhine

Publisher / Deaditor-in-Chief
Girls and Corpses Magazine


©2006 (reprinted only with permission of author)