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Fans of Girls and Corpses may remember Hollie Stevens' Thanksgiving Starbucks Coffee Enema Recipe. Continuing with that theme, we now bring you...

The Champagne Enema
or "I get no Shit From Champagne!"

by Public Enema #2 Hollie Stevens


issue #15

It all started thanks to a very close friend of mine, Mistress Genevieve who I met several years back on a radio show in Los Angeles. We immediately became friends and I was intrigued by how open she was to anything. I mean, I don't care about what people think [of me] to a certain extent but sometimes even I have to draw a line. Gen has no barrier whatsoever.

Anyway, I moved to San Francisco shortly after we met. I fly back and forth from San Francisco to Los Angeles frequently for porn gigs but was never able to hang out with Gen. Finally, we ended up on the same radio show. We both felt like we should celebrate because it had been so long and because that was were we first met (Wholly fuck, that just sounded SO gay).

Gen came up with the idea that we should do "champagne enemas" in the bathroom at the radio station. Now, I've done several enemas in the past but, I can assure you, this was something that I had NEVER done before. I'm always willing to give something a shot though. Could be fun. Who knew?

So' I met up with her before the show started. We hit the bathroom, stuck the mini champagne bottles up out asses and got down on the dirty bathroom floor on all fours. Carbonation bubbles sting -- I soon learned. I was screaming as well as Gen. Luckily, the bathroom door was locked or else all those people waiting in line to take a piss or whatever would have rushed in to see about all the commotion.

Moving forward, I'm in Vegas a few months later. One of my close friends, who I wanted to hang out with, was out of town but his girlfriend was still there and she's just as cool. We decided to go to a bar called the Double Down and that's were I proceeded to tell my tale of Gen and I in the bathroom with the champagne. She's intrigued and tells me she wants to give it a shot. Right then!

We go to a gas station across the street, pick up some mini champagne bottles and proceed back to the Double Down and into the women's stall. Just like the last time, we stuck the bottles in our perky asses and dropped onto all fours, screaming from the bubbles. I failed to mention that while all of this was going on, one of my close guy friends was with us, but hanging out in the bar waiting for us to finish up with whatever we were doing. Also, the women's restroom in the Double Down has a hole where the doorknob should be. My friend told us that while we were screaming hysterically, some girls were waiting to use the restroom. I guess they decided to look through the hole in the door to see what all the screaming was about, saw what we were doing, and left the bar immediately. Can't really blame them.

After that, my friend and I decided that we would make some sort of ritual out of sticking booze up our asses at the Double Down. I don't think too many people would understand why, but I see it as a very close bond between two very good friends.

You celebrate New Years the way you want, but for me... I'll always choose the bubbly.