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Horror Décor

Bringing Blood Spatter to your Living Room

Interview by R.S. Rhine


issue #14

We fell in blood with Horror Decor -- sort of like Manson chique meets Dahmer retro meets Ikea killer. We met the owner Matt and axed him to tell us about his unique concept in horrific home furnishings:

G&C: So, Matt, where did you come up with this bloody idea? Are you a crime scene investigator?

HD: Well, I was sitting on my butt watching a horror movie thinking, "How does the true horror fanatic decorate a room? With movie posters and figurines of course, but then what?" You can find plenty of comic book or cartoon character bed sets and decorations but the horror fan is always stuck with black. So that was it. Now the true gore fiend can use a blood splattered lamp to light up that horror movie poster or accent the shelf of action figures with a razorbalde candle! No, I'm not a crime scene investigator, but thanks to Mulder and Scully, I could probably track down an alien if the opportunity arose!

G&C: What happens if a murder really happened in the house with your furnishings?

HD: Since we hand paint everything and literally 'hand' paint items with hand prints, I guess I would be a suspect. Damn!

G&C: What has the response been? Who are your customers? More men or women? Dead or alive?

HD: We just recently launched so we're still working on getting the word out, but so far the response has been incredible. You would be surprised at the customer types we get. From the average horror fan, both male and female, to authors and businessmen, both dead and alive.

G&C: Did you have an especially violent childhood? Do you have repressed memory syndrome?

HD: Surprisingly no. I guess that's another thing we can blame on T.V.! Repressed memories...um, I can't remember.

G&C: Are you in therapy? Gene Therapy?

HD: Who needs therapy when I get to splatter blood on everything for a living? I love this job!

G&C: Did you torture pets when you were a child.. or just eat them alive?

HD: Right, I 'did torture pets when I was a kid'. Definitely not anymore. *cough cough*

G&C: Do women scream when they enter your bachelor pad. Before or after you bludgeon them?

HD: A little of both. They screech a little when they first see the mess, then they really go at it once they realize they're becoming part of it.

G&C: What were and are your favorite influences and horror movies?

HD: Since I've worked in retail for a good part of my life, people have become a very large influence in my love for watching horrific deaths on the big screen. It's like a good cup of coffee in the morning. Some of my many favorite horror movies range from classics like Dawn and Day of the Dead, Hellraiser, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Killer Klowns from Outer Space to newer films like Shaun of the Dead, Saw, Hostel, House of a 1000 Corpses and the Devil's Rejects.

G&C: Will they be carrying your line at KMart?

HD: K-Mart thought it may interfere with the Martha Stewart line too much. We figure maybe Bed Bath and Beyond may be interested.

G&C: What does Martha Stewart think? Is it true that she;s coming out we a rival line, Martha Stewart Bleeding?

HD: Martha actually had a big part of helping with the design of this line. She doesn't want people to know this, but this is the type of stuff that she learned in prison!

G&C: Did you have any design training? Mortuaries?

HD: Nope, just a lot of free time on my hands!

G&C: Is it real blood? Why not? Can we get your maps and curtains with real blood?

HD: For legal reasons, I'll say no, but if your really interested, have your people call my people and we'll see. Besides, blood will fade once you wash it, what we use won't. And real blood smells horrible when it burns. Unless you like that kind of thing.

G&C: Do you get furniture ideas from CSI?

HD: Not yet, but that's a good place to look. Thanks!

G&C: Any corpses as clients?

HD: We're hoping some of your corpses can fill that void. And maybe some of your girls, too. But mainly the corpses.

G&C: Tell us what you offer in your line. And what are you considering in the future?

HD: Currently we offer three different styles of bloody lamps- splattered, dripped and hand printed, five different candles filled with either eyes, razorblades or nails, and a bloody saw blade clock. all of the sharp metal shiny things we use are 100% real so I wouldn't suggest buying them for baby shower gifts. As for the future, we are still working on curtains, bedsheets, pillowcases and throw pillows that will hopefully be ready very soon.

G&C: Are you considering a line of children's furnishings? Like a blood splattered crib?

HD: Hmm, not a bad idea. Maybe even razor blade sippy cups and nail filled rattles. That might just work!

G&C: What prevents serial killers from creating their own lines... and just feeding you into the wood chipper?

HD: Who's saying a serial killer didn't create this one?

G&C: What would Jeffrey Dahmer say about your furnishings?

HD: "Got any dinnerware?"

G&C: Enough about your blood soaked curtains... What do you think of Girls and Corpses Magazine?

HD: I love girls. I love corpses. Combining the two is a wonderful thing! All you have to do is get beer in there and I'm hooked for life! Just think about it -- 'Girls and Corpses and Beer'. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

G&C: yeah, but I would probably add blowjob to the end -- GCBB. Where can we buy your fine furnishings?

HD: The only place as of right now is at our website, www.horrordecor.com, until we get the Bed Bath and Beyond deal settled, of course!

G&C: Don't you mean Blood Bath and Beyond?