WTF should be our Girls and Corpses anthem. Every day we get your letters and see the abbreviation for "What The Fuck!" Apparently, we are still shocking and awe-ing you and we are grabbing new readers every minute. We are also grabbing the attention of celebs, such as our current cover turkey, Tom Green, and our upcoming December Christmas cover featuring Miss Santa Corpse (*aka Miss Howard Stern) Andrea Ownbey. Okay they're not superstars -- but who know -- next maybe Paris Hilton and Carrot Top!
Thanksgiving is truly the perfect holiday for Girls and Corpses Magazine. I mean, didn't the Pilgrims start serving turkeys to cut down on cannibalism? It's true, they were starving and needed to get their minds, and growling bellies, off human flesh and onto a steaming lump of bird flesh -- know as the turkey -- a bird so dumb it drowns in the rain by looking up.
On Thanksgiving, all across our country, families will gather round an animal carcass -- a 'corpse' -- and rip it apart limb from limb like hungry zombies. If that's not enough, there will be a bowl of cranberries to bloody up the occasion. After the family has picked the cadaver clean like vultures, they take the "fart walk," then recline on the sofa, like bloated beasts in a coma -- overfed vampires in a blood stupor -- digesting their kill -- and watch a brutal blood sport of 'knock the other guys head off.'
Thanksgiving brings together 'life' (our families) and 'death' (the turkey's) much like Girls and Corpses Magazine combines life and death. Is our magazine really so out of touch with the mainstream? Maybe we should have a National Girls and Corpses Day? Picture it -- each year girls in bikinis would flock to the cemetery to pose with their dead relatives. Then, they'd re-bury the bodies until next year. I'm going to petition Congress -- you'll see.
For the Special issue, G&C welcomes comedian/psychopath Tom Green to share the holiday with us. And who wouldn't want Tom at their Thanksgiving, annoying the guests, singing inappropriate songs and never ever leaving? I happen to find a certain brilliance in Tom Green, they same kind of genius that killed Andy Kaufman.
Tom Green's willing to take his humor past the point of mere annoyance, to raging anger, and even murder -- and then back again to comedy -- sort of. He's an 'original' and there's not too many of them left.
Tom was really a sport to come to our set and let us sever his head for the photo shoot. Tom's willing to go that extra yard for comedy. Unfortunately, this will be the last gag Tom Green will ever do. We tried to explain that to him, before the beheading. But Tom wouldn't shut up and kept yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping and yapping... until we loped off his noggin.
Sleep well Little Prince of Comedy -- sleep well.
Along with Tom Green's head, we have the sumptuous Jennifer Cambra, one of the sultry hosts of Tom Green's 'Girl Talk' show. Tom even has his own internet TV Channel now at: www.tomgreen.com
Watch Tom's show -- it's pretty funny shit. And, he's even got behind the scenes footage of our Girls and Corpses cover shoot with Tim's head on a platter and Jennifer barely contained in a bikini.
Also, in this issue, don't miss: our Thanksgiving Recipes from Porn Stars ("hmmm... that gravy smells like chlorine"); Corpse Phobias, a sexy bondage lacing; new wacky ads; and we interview the rising band The Coffin Draggers. And much much more mayhem!
So, gather the corpses round for this Thanksgiving issue and thank Girls and Corpses Magazine for the stinking carcass you are about to receive.
Amen and RIP,
R.S. Rhine "The Grin Creeper"
Publisher / Deaditor-in-Chief
Girls and Corpses Magazine
©2006 (reprinted only with permission of author)