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What I'm about to tell you is a story beyond anyone's imagination. Far beyond any grasp of reality. I call this tale.......

Horrors Of Porn

The Gassing

by Miss Emily Porn

Hollie Stevens


issue #12

It all started about two and a half years ago. I was on a certain porn set of a certain major porn company. I showed up at eight in the morning, which is very responsible for a porn actress. I'm the first one there. The sun is so bright in the Malibu sky that my eyes feel like they're going to explode. I walk into a small room where the make up artist eventually shows up. She begins reading a sheet with a description of how my make up and wardrobe should be. My role in this movie is a sexbot. A neon pink sexbot by the name of fifty-one fifty from outer space. I'm the first scene of the day so she begins spray painting my hair bright pink, finishes my makeup and I lay on a comfy couch waiting for my name to be called to show up on set. I pass out. I wake up to the makeup artist screaming at me because half of the makeup on my face was smeared off from sleeping. Doesn't matter though, everyone has arrived and they switch my scene with someone else's, then another persons. It's the middle of the day now. Ron Jeremy shows up on the set during the lunch break and starts asking me if I ever heard of a donkey punch or a Cleveland steamer. My knowledge is extensive although I've never tried any of these things personally. My scene gets switched again. I end up being the last scene of the day. It is now eleven o'clock at night. I'm fitted into a neon pink plastic robot suit. I feel ridiculous. I then meet the man who will be inserting his penis in me. He is a well-known actor. We begin the scene and it seems to be going quite smoothly while switching from hardcore to soft-core. It's time for the soft-core pop shot. I am in doggy position with the actor behind me ready to do his best impression of Cumming. As soon as he screams "Oh fuck I'm going to cum", he rips a horrendous fart unintentionally. The entire camera, lighting and sound crew burst into laughter. I fell on the ground laughing as well while the actor was trying to apologize to me.

Eventually, everyone went back to work and the scene was finally finished. I didn't get home till one thirty in the morning. The pink wouldn't come out of my hair for days. It was a day I'll never forget...